Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Blind Date Accessories

This is from our favourite blogger, Laura Jane, whose blogs you can read at http://laurajane.katgyrl.com/. We think she should be paid to write a column in her local newspaper.

We asked her permission to reproduce the blog here, and she said yes. So here it is. The original is at Laura Jane's blog

In Newark, NJ a young woman had already cleared airport security and was waiting to board her plane, when she discovered she had forgotten to take a butcher knife out of her purse.*

Now many so-called "serious" journalists are going to focus on the security breach. It does seem ironic that while screeners are busy confiscating our nail clippers and cuticle scissors, in this case they somehow managed to overlook a butcher knife. The screener responsible for this particular snafu was sent for retraining but sadly, a quick on-line search using the words "Newark" "knife" and "airport" brings up numerous cases of airport security overlooking knives. My favorite story is the guy who sat onboard the plane awaiting takeoff, passing the time by calmly peeling an apple with his knife when the flight attendant suddenly took notice. Knife Boy was arrested and taken off the plane in handcuffs. I guess the situation had passed the point of simple confiscation.

But I think the real story is how this woman could forget she had a butcher knife in her purse. Katrina Bell, 27, had put the knife in her purse earlier in the week because she was going on a blind date and wanted it "just in case." My feeling is if you are taking a butcher knife on a date "just in case" then maybe you ought to just stay home.

Now admittedly it has been a while since I went on a date, but there are some basics you never forget. So here is my guide to :

Blind Date Accessories

Things to bring:
Mad Money
Cell Phone
Pepper Spray

Things to leave at home:
Kitchen utensils
Drug sniffing dog
Betsy Wetsy Doll collection
Tinfoil hat
Photo album from your first wedding
Weapons grade plutonium
Mother's cremains
Fake vomit
Surgical instruments
Sponge mop and rubber gloves
Ground-to-air missiles

*You will need to register with the LA Times for this article.