Firting and Dating

What could be nicer, either when arranging a date or when dating, than indulging in a little light flirtation? We all adore being flirted with. Some of us are natural flirts, others need to relearn flirting.


Yes, relearn. babies flirtnaturaly. Toddlers flirt naturally. Young school children flirt naturally. And then some of us forget how. Here at we think that may be because of parents insisting on good manners, though how flirting is bad manners we really cannot see! So we did some research and we created thsi list from resources we found and our own knowledge of dating and flirting. And here is the Flirting Alphabet, just for you.

  1. Smile: It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people magnet. Try it!
  2. Start a conversation: The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, state an opinion.
  3. Use props: Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you. Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion, interesting ties, hats, or an interesting book or newspaper.
  4. Listen: You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.
  5. Be the host: Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.
  6. Flirting is an attitude: A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic and positive, it works!
  7. Be honest: A good flirt picks the positive about their flirting partner without undue flattery
  8. Give them the opportunity to flirt back: Flirting is not a one way sterre; they need to flirt withyou as well
  9. Make the first move: Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say hello!
  10. Keep sex off the menu; sex, smut and inuendo do not work. Keep flirting light.
  11. Relax: flirting is a game with two winners. Tension removes flirting and makes it a battle.
  12. Have fun: Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.
  13. Resist all "chat-up lines": flirting is like a martial art. The rules say lines like "Get your coat, you've pulled" kill any chance of flirtation stone dead.
  14. Eye contact: Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away. Don't stare - it's a turn off.
  15. Know when to back off: It's great to be flirted with... until it isn't. Judge when flirting becomes oppressive and stop ten minutes earlier than that. Over-flirting can lose the entire date.
  16. Flirt in Messages and emails: This takes serious practice. Text has "limited eye contact". Well actually it has no eye contact. So be far less suggestive than you might have been face to face.
  17. Compliment: Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine.
  18. Receiving a compliment: When you receive a compliment the best response is merely, Thank You! You may blush prettily if you like, though.
  19. Remember cultural differences: An Islamic lady may not be comfortable with (eg) a Christian gentleman's more heavy handed flirting, though might accept it from an Islamic gentleman.
  20. Use touch with care: I light touch that brushes and leaves a shoulder or a forearm shows that you care about your partner. Longer or heavier touches have a highly sexual content and are to be avoided. Flirting is not sex.
  21. Do not shock: flirting is not the time for revelations. Flirting is gentle fencing, not battle.
  22. Tease: and use teasing wisely. It is to tantalise, not to hurt. So tease on acceptable topics
  23. Be fresh: a good flirt never resues stale things. A really good flirt uses his partner to bounce flirting off and never repeats the same flirting topics with different partners
  24. Flirt with her mother: Gentlemen collecting ladies from the parental home should flirt in a charming and gentle and safe way with her mother. Win the mother and you win the daughter. Note that gay gentlemen collecting a gentleman from the parental home shoudl not flirt with the father, nor the mother.
  25. Be ever charming: and be prepared to apologise if you go "a flirt too far".
  26. Kissing ispossibe: a light, cheek kiss is wholly acceptable if and only if it is kept light, and if it is appropriate for the moment. This is very like a light touch. Brief, unforced and finished.